Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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