she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
