i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
