If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
