you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
