i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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