just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
