its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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