How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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