I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
