I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
