you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
