a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize