Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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