Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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