you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
