She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
