matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
