Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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