Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
