If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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