Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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