I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize