I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
