Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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