just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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