It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
