If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
