office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
