I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
