I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
