we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Are we still banned from the library?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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