And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
