I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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