Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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