tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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