Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize