she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
