Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
