And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
