I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
