Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
