I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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