Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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