We won't sleep together?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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