Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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