I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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