what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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