She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
