So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
