fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
