9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
