just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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