this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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