whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
not ubering you a puppy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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