erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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