If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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