would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
