I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
