dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
