You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i came on her dog
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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