On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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