So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize