Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
