remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
