New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
