i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
