Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
