I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
