the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You left your phone here
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