i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
